“Choosing your people” for sure sounds weird because we don’t actually go around picking people and bringing them into our lives. Thinking about it, it would be an awkward scene imagining pointing your finger at someone, and saying,
“You are mine”
Wouldn’t this be so convenient, though? Bringing the people we want into our lives. Only if it was true.
Coming back to a less dramatic and more realistic world, choosing people still is something real. When we talk about people, we talk about relationships and when we talk about relationships, we need to focus on its many kinds. You have a different relationship with your parents and a completely different relationship with your friend on the contrary. Each one of those relationships has its own meaning and importance.
Now here comes the importance of choice.
There are some relationships which you are born with and the others, you develop it with time. They often say you cannot choose your family and hence there is nothing you can do about it. About friends and lovers, yes, we still hold the power to choose who comes into our life.
Every person you dedicate your time to brings along some package with themselves, some are good, some are bad and some are lethal, Be it a family member or a friend, the environment you are put up in makes the most part of your personality. And if that relationship degrades you, it’s time to think things through.
Not being pessimistic about it but I feel we all have been through one such relation; one such phase where we felt disappointed and demotivated for no reason; one such person with whom it always felt being surrounded by negative vibes. And since we keep meeting numerous people on a daily basis, there are high chances we meet a person of that sort again.
If that happens,
Do you dare to choose your own people?
This is one of the most important parts of your life. Because we all have that inherent instinct to keep going unless the road is blocked. It’s often the hardest thing to say NO, to quit something that we have been part of, for a long time. And there lies the key difference between achievers and average people.
Do you understand why quitting is hard?
I am sure you too would have conversations like this in your head.
“It’s fine. Let things go at its own pace.”
“I can’t change my destiny. I will have to live this”
“Maybe, I was born for this.”
“Maybe, I am not good enough, I deserve this lifestyle”
“I am just an average person. I shouldn’t be looking for something better”
If you have thoughts even remote close to this, there is something I need to tell you,
“The pace of your life is determined by you. You decide whether to run or walk.”
“You create your own destiny. You choose your own path. Take responsibility for your actions and things will change.”
“You weren’t born for this. You were born to be happy, to chase whatever you love and to be loved. You deserve everything great in life.”
“Your thinking builds your personality. Think you are great and you would eventually become one.”
“You are not average. You are just thinking quite low of yourself. You can’t achieve greatness until you chase it.”
Knowing these in mind, try thinking about why you cannot quit. Initially, you might think you cannot leave them but that’s your choice. You have to make that decision and you have to take the responsibility for it. When you choose to stay in a toxic relationship, you are indirectly choosing to poison yourself steadily. You know that’s not okay. What you don’t know is that only you hold the power to change it.
Beyond all that, the most relationship you maintain is with yourself and you need to keep it shining. You need to work for it. To be in a happy relationship with yourself, you need to know what’s working in your favour and what’s not. The environment you are living in makes the most part of your mentality. Accept only those who lift you higher and keeps you happy. Nothing less than that should be acceptable.