I know this is going to be awkward after all the fun we have had recently. I know you are not in the right mood since you are listening to an emo song, but we need to talk. Can you please close the video of lemon eating cats and also the tab which said “Why do I pee my pants talking to girls?”, these things can wait. I know you would say that we have been doing well for so long now but based on recent events, I think we should stop seeing each other now.
I can still remember the good old days when you used to call me using a landline. I liked the struggle you did to meet me. You literally spent hours trying to connect to me and when you finally did, I remember only having serious and meaningful discussions about the hardest of physics questions and about the meaning of life. But what have you come to now? I have become more intelligent over these years and you more stupid. From asking about Quantum physics to Kim Kardashian’s butt size, you truly have done everything wrong.
I could have still managed with your stupidity which keep on increasing with each passing day but how can I ever forget the fact that you have become so clingy now? It’s the biggest turn off one could ever imagine of. Back in the day, we used to meet once or twice in a week and mostly on weekends. But now, you pester me 24*7 like I don’t have any other work to do. Frankly, I need some space.
We talk all the time and most importantly about the most stupid stuff. You need to develop some self-control. You shouldn’t hit me at work, while cooking, while driving and definitely not when you are taking a shit. I don’t want a relationship so intimate where we poop together. No couple needs to go to the bathroom together and I don’t want to do that either.
Please don’t get me wrong. You are an amazing person, in fact, the best one I have ever met. You were that one person who shared his deepest secrets with me, you were that one who never ever felt shy in front of me, you truly were my soulmate, but I think we need a break. It’s not about you. It’s about me. I want you to see as a very successful person and I know I act as a hindrance to that. I can still remember the beautiful days we spent together. I can still remember our first time, the first time when you looked for porn. I can still remember the spark in your eyes and the most amazing thing is that your eyes still continue to glow.
I care so much about you and I know this is the right thing to do at this point of time. Promise me, you would visit Laser Tag and Paintball which has been lying alone for years now. You should also look for some face time with a real person.
I wish you all the luck in life and I know what’s your last question would be and the answer is “No, there is no cure for heartbreak. You need to move on”
Image source: Medium