This might sound like a very negative statement to say. You might be wondering if people won’t make us happy, who would? Happiness is what we long for, search for, live for. And in a society where aspirations are always high, We often end up chasing happiness and it keeps on eluding us. And why would it not? Even when we have a good job with a fat paycheck, we are not happy. We dream of a well-balanced family and once we have all that, we still seem to be miserable. Why? Because we are constantly looking up to different people, different things to make us happy.
However, at some point of our lives, We do begin to realize how materialistic possessions, job or even loads of money is not going to make us happy. We need someone special in our lives to make us happy and then we meet them. We look forward to finding the love of our lives. We start counting on the days till we meet “our last hope” and this would be the time when we finally attain happiness. And when we meet them, everything changes, for a moment or two until the loads of expectations start to kick in.
And this is the worst of them all. We were so hopeful of this thing to work in favor of us, there was a special zeal in our eyes when we met them and look at us now, we are hurt and dejected. Why isn’t anything working out for us? Why do we always end up shattered and hopeless?
The problem lies in us. We have always been taught that happiness is something to be gained and not an intrinsic quality lying dormant within us all along. Instead of working on our own source of happiness, We are constantly looking for it in every other place or person. And that gets the worst when your entire burden of expectations falls on a single person.
When we are saying things like “You are the only one for me and “You are my last hope”, We are actually make it worse. That specifically means you are counting on someone’s effort to make you happy, and in the society we live in, it always lies on the horizon. It feels like we can see it but we are only chasing it upto eternity.
You are already happy, You just don’t know it!
When we are chasing money, job or a posh living standards for happiness, we are actually eluding it even more. When we give our keys of happiness in someone else’s hands, they wouldn’t know what to do with it. Maybe they take care of it upto a certain degree but that would never be sufficient for you. You know how to handle your keys not anyone else, not even your soulmate.
It’s quite obvious to say how we need people, things and money to sustain in a society and talking about leaving them all doesn’t make any sense. It sounds like we are just hampering development. Interestingly, you can still be happy living among money, fame and people. You just need to take care of your expectations and most part of it comes from the people we love. We don’t get angry or agitated at every other person walking on the street. It’s the person whom we trust hurts us the most because we are totally dependent on them for our happiness. It’s a blessing to have someone you love in your life but it can also be a curse in disguise if we don’t know how to take care of it.
And it isn’t that hard. You need to have very less expectations from anyone. They don’t know what’s going on in your head and what you need unless you say it. There should never be an expectation gap for us to be happy.
Happiness is not something to be attained, it’s merely what you are. Next time, you are stuck in a situation like this, just ignore it so that any problem cannot take root. Most of our problems would vanish away if we stop expecting people to act in a way we would like them to. It’s your life. Don’t let anyone else steer it for you.