Our definition of love often changes with what we see around us. However, there is something every story talks about and that involves looking for someone to complete you. And this is where almost all of us get it wrong. We talk about finding love but we are just looking for someone to complete us.
And how can we ever find love when we are just looking to fill our void, our emptiness? It doesn’t require love. It just needs materialistic possession where you use the other person when you feel empty. Another way we often understand love is through glorification. We end up looking our partner with honor thus idealizing everything they do. This involves ignoring the reality that no man is perfect and this might haunt us even more when they finally show who they are.
And love is not only about idealization either!
Another lie we often tend to buy is that love is all about celebrating your partner’s strength and this actually shows the first signs of conflict. Expecting everything to be “rainbows and unicorns” does no good and actually bring us more troubles. If this would be the case, we would not be loving the person and just the qualities we like. The moment we see what they really are, we will start resenting them.
What we really need to do is start seeing beauty in weakness and fragility. There is nothing perfect. Even the mighty hills you adore, the sea beaches you love are imperfect and full of flaws. We end up loving them because we have accepted it to be the way it is, full of beauty and flaws. This is the thing we should look for in a partner too. Love begins when you start accepting that the other person has flaws and fragility. You must be able to say, ” Yes, I know your weaknesses and yet I feel proud to have you”.
Love is the most beautiful thing ever. And it is harvested only when you completely know the person. One can always admire the beauty and talent, but let’s not call that love. That would just be approbation and regarding the things we find good. Love comes when you know what the entire package is and yet accept it with complete pride. Our hearts would flow with gratitude and boundless empathy. We would do anything to honor and respect it. This is the purest form of love.
When you are just “looking for someone”, you won’t find love!
When you are looking for someone to complete you, you never see them as beautiful, you would just see them as a tool. It’s another way of saying, ” I don’t really care who that person is, but I have needs and I am looking for someone to fill that gap in life”. This way, you can never understand the true beauty of that person and would just be focused on what suits you thus making it as ” the basic relationship” we all see nowadays. It starts with passionate love making and ends up in boredom as all your needs would be accomplished.
Let’s look for love and not just “someone”!
Love by itself is an act of feeling complete in the incompleteness of someone. Looking to satisfy your needs can give you temporary happiness for sure, but that wouldn’t be long lasting. Love, on the other hand, wouldn’t care about your faults and needs. It would see roses even in a bush full of thorns and that makes it the most beautiful thing ever. And let’s not limit love to the stereotypical definition involving people of the opposite gender. You can love anyone you wish. It’s a feeling of appreciating someone’s beauty and nature and it doesn’t restrict with any gender. The World needs more of it today. Let’s make this a lovely place.