Only if I would have got into my dream university, I would be so happy and content with my life.
Only If I would have got the love of my life, I would never be sad and disappointed with my current status.
Only If I would have landed my dream job, I would be so rich and happy.
These What ifs keep on piling up and so does our search for happiness. Our idea of happiness always tends to be in a place we are not in. Many times, We tend to get disappointed with our current status just because we feel it’s not worth it. This way, We end up ruining our present moment thus fueling the cycle of hopelessness.
When they say, “Grass is always greener on the other side”, it totally makes sense as to how we constantly look for our happiness in everyplace other than ours, at every time other than the present, and in every person except ourselves.
And this is what we need to change. The “ideal world” which you have harvested in your mind doesn’t exist. Yes, you could have done things differently in the past but there is no way you can undo it. What’s done is done. Stop regretting about what you could have done and start focusing on what you can do right now.
These tips might help you deal better with seeking contentment with your true self:
Happiness lies in the present!
Yes, You screwed up. Yes, You could have done much better. Yes, there are some things that even time can’t heal. Yes, there are some scars permanently marked on you. But what gives it the authority to rule your present? You might have messed up something in the past and that doesn’t mean you are going to mess everything forever. If you keep thinking about what could have been done and how bad a position you are in, you are never going to exploit what the present holds for you.
Let go of your worries. Let go of your mistakes. Be kind to yourself and your past. Forgive yourself and move on. Once you are there, once you are accepted yourself with whatever you are, it’s your time to grow. Understand no amount of mistakes holds the power to stop you from doing what you want. If you feel you screwed up, now is the time to make up for it. If you feel you could have done better, now is the time to work hard and be there.
There is no stopping you once you learn to utilise your potential. Your potential is limitless and only when you overcome the fear of failures and mistakes, you earn the ability to make history.
Happiness is in the same place you are in!
Stop comparing yourself to anyone. Stop thinking you would have been happy in a place other than yours. No matter how bad the current situation is for you, make it your best. You could be going through hell, but make that your kingdom. Own it. Accept the position you are in, and work hard to go wherever you want to go.
If you really feel you would be happier in some other place, understand that you need to be happy before being happier. Learn to be happy with what you have. Once you do that, you can work on your plans on being happier. Nothing good comes at sorrow and if you want to grow, you need to accept your situation and grow through it.
Happiness is inside you!
Do you feel jealous of people being highly successful in their lives? Do you feel jealous looking at people being cool and happy all the time? That’s fine. We all do. Your senses immediately remind you of them and how their life is so perfect, without miseries and full of happiness.
And you are not wrong. They are indeed happy. Do you know why? Because they have learned to embrace themselves. Because they have learned to accept themselves and utilise their potential.
You on their hand feel their life is perfect, try to copy them, and end up feeling even more miserable. That’s the problem. And it’s quite easy to solve. You have been running to find happiness in every place else other than yours. Have you tried looking inside yourself? Have you tried doing things you live? Have you tried working on things you are passionate about? Have you tried living your life in your own terms?
If not, try it. The results would be magical.