At my time in university, I was one of those hard working students who would just score decent marks. I would convinve myself everytime it’s either the examiner’s fault or something totally random but not me.
And this is one of the countless subtle lies I have told myself. But Why did I lie? For one obvious reason. To make myself feel better.
And it’s not like I am trying to lie intentionally. It just comes to me so naturally. It works like a defense mechanism against some deep reality which we are afraid to accept. And that’s not just me. It’s all of us. We all are bounded by this chain.
By lying to ourselves, We mortgage our long-term needs in order to fulfill our short-term desires. Therefore, one could say personal growth is merely the process of learning to lie to oneself less.
There are some set patterns to how we lie to ourselves. Some set patterns that might help you to grow if you recognize them.
IF I COULD BE LIKE MR.X, I WOULD HAVE A PERFECT LIFE!
We always have someone in our lives whom we want to be like. Sometimes, we work too hard for that and reach the goal. We finally become like our idol and in the process, we create a whole new goal for ourselves. And that’s a good thing if we consider self-growth. It totally helps you develop your self-identity and makes you reach a greater height.
But what about happiness? If we’re always looking for what’s next it becomes quite difficult to appreciate what is now. We should be grateful for what we have right now and take every step as an appreciation for what we are doing rather than a challenge. In the race of life, thinking about the goal isn’t going to take you anywhere, you have to enjoy running.
I COULDN’T ACHIEVE MY TARGET BECAUSE OF MR.X!
Unless that Mr.X is you, this statement is completely full of crap. You are lying to yourself. But that’s fine. We all do. After all, We can’t blame ourselves for something we couldn’t achieve. It could it make us look like a loser right? Yeah, It would. But, that’s the whole point of it. If you do not accept your failures, how else do you expect to win? No one is born perfect here and we all make mistakes. Addressing your problems and having an open eye approach towards it will solve most of your problems in life. Stop playing this blame game because you are the only one responsible for your happiness and sadness.
We all have heard of the famous empty half empty- half full glass example. Some say the glass is half empty while some emphasize that the glass is half full. Different people have a different perspective and we must respective that. When it comes to analyzing life, people carry forward this approach here too. Some say everything sucks while some say how glorious the life is.
Spoiler Alert. It neither is totally glorious nor totally worthless. We all have our share of happiness and problems and the best way out is to think rationally. If you think everything sucks, you are making your life worthless too. And If you consider your life to be full of glory, you are missing out on improvement. Choose the realistic path and things might open up to your glory.
IF I HAD MORE TIME, I WOULD HAVE DONE X!
Another one of those crap you feed yourselves on a daily basis. If you like something, you do it without someone to giving you a dose of motivation. If you find yourself in a fix, consider thinking if you even wanted to do it in the first place.
You might have seen countless men trying to build their abs, build a great business or becoming a great singer but have always failed to do so. people are enamored with the idea of their goals rather than the painful living that comes with living one’s goals.
And what’s the excuse people come up with?
“I am just too busy to do any of these things”
Choosing to be busy in an investment of time and we often invest our time in things that matter to us. If you really want to get those abs, go work out in the gym and sweat like a pig. If you want to be a singer, practice day in and out. Nothing is going to stop you other than your excuses.