What is common with CEOs, celebrities, famous sports person and many other billionaires? You can never be like them. You are a mediocre scumbag and possibly, you will always be. But that requires effort and constant practice. One lucky break and you will be thrown out of your league of mediocrity. And who on earth would want that? You have destroyed your life, given up on your dreams and wasted all your dad’s money to be in this position. To make sure, it never happens to you, here are some things you should do to remain that same old “mediocre person”

  1. Every accomplishment requires a good start and since you don’t want any of these, make sure you have a bad start. And what could be better than “Snooze” button for this. Set your alarm for 6:00 AM every morning and make sure you snooze it repeatedly only to wake up at 9:00 AM when you have no other choice than to run for your life.
  2. Rant every day about how you are going to join gym from the next day and never do so. Always remember that procrastination is the key here.
  3. Have dozens of places marked up to go to but never visit any of them. Scroll through these places daily, tell your friends about how you wish to travel the entire world and then go back to the room and sleep in peace.
  4. Download at least 12 productivity, health monitoring and To-do-list apps.
  5. Never use any of them.
  6. Go to Starbucks with your rich and successful friend, ask him to order a cup of Cappuccino and don’t forget to take 100 snaps of it from various angles and post it on Instagram. That’s important.
  7. When your parents ask you about your future plans, act like you are in a Jurassic Park movie. Don’t move or don’t act. You have to act totally clueless and I cannot stress this enough, Don’t make eye contact. In short, act like a dumb person and you know how to do that.
  8. Post one motivational picture on Facebook every day and keep reminding your friends about how much of a philosopher you are.
  9. Mediocrity is best achieved when you spend your entire day on the Internet defending your favorite politician or actor. And you need to work hard for it. Monitor every social networking website for any negative post against your idol and destroy them with hate comments. This is an important step in mediocrity since you are never going to achieve anything from it and yet you do it over and over again

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