Love is one such feeling that is adored and wanted by everyone and yet no one is able to define what really love is. We all have fallen in love at some point of our lives, some lasted for an hour and some accompanied us till we died. But what is the reason behind this erratic love? Is it just infatuation or just lust? Or is just habit which we can’t seem to get rid of?
Well, We have an answer now! The evolutionary way seems to get a stand on who do people fall in love and what goes in our mind for choosing the right partner. What keeps commitment alive and loyalty a major ingredient! To find that, let’s go to the time when the first human of different sex caught sight of each other.
Well, if it had to be a fairy tale or a typical Bollywood masala, those two would have seen each other, fell instantly in love followed by dancing all night and an intense love making sessions. But not how it would have happened. Those two would have seen each other for the first time, how would have they ever got attracted? the only feeling would be of curiosity and weirdness, forget about playing with their genitalia and the least intercourse.
So, What does evolution talk about? It would actually be pretty hard for many of you to hear this, but love is all about SEX!
The evolutionary theory of love proposes that love functions to attract and retain a mate for the purpose of reproducing and then caring for the resulting offspring. In simpler words, our ultimate goal is reproduction, and the feeling of romantic love that we experience is merely a tool to help us reach that goal. Love connects us with another person in order to increase our chances to successfully have and raise children. If there was no love and intimacy, wouldn’t the art of sex be just considered plain weird and creepy. It’s the love part we have developed to make sure we enjoy it to the fullest.
Who do we need sex, though?
The answer lies in “Survival of the fittest”. It can be more easily defined as survival of the form that will leave the most copies of itself in successive generations. At a time when there were just a few humans (the fully-evolved ones), they needed to expand their territory in order to have their species protected. If there were just one or two of them it could have easily been wiped out by more strong species say, tiger. To make sure this doesn’t happen, they had to reproduce. Now at first, when they indulged in sex, they wouldn’t have liked it but it was one mandatory thing to do. The Brain comes into action here. Since it was important for our survival, we had to make sure we feel good while we do this. With time, our brain started to release hormones such as dopamine which is responsible for excitement thus making the whole sexual thing interesting and exciting.
What are the factors contributing to attraction?
Our connections with the opposite gender are all about preserving life and ensuring the continued existence of our species. Men are attracted to women who can produce the most offspring, and women are attracted to men who have the resources to care the best for that offspring. So when women complain about getting a hunky muscular partner who owns a Lamborghini, don’t blame them, blame evolution! And yes, you can’t blame men either for liking women with big breasts!
If it’s all about SEX, why do we get jealous and over-protective?
So, We know it’s all about sex but what do evolution talk about the time post-relationship? What leads to jealousy and overprotectiveness? It might seem that since our only purpose is reproduction, planting that seed with multiple partners would even be more effective. So why do we go in a relationship?
Like we explained before, women are always attracted to men who have the resources to take care of their offspring and women are always right, so you can’t possibly argue with them. However, jokes apart, once women give birth to an offspring, they need someone to take care of it other than themselves. If that responsibility is solely limited to them, it becomes a hard task. This calls for the need of commitment. And the offspring of commitment is jealousy. If your partner is cheating on you, thinking the evolutionary way, you are meant to take care of your offspring all by yourself. This explains why women get jealous and over-protective about smallest of things.
But why men? They can do whatever they want? No! Evolution has an answer for this too! From the man’s perspective, a sexual infidelity will result in uncertainty in the paternity of their children, which often leads to sexual jealousy. Sexual infidelity acts as a cue that triggers sexual jealousy among men. So when people say, when men only think about SEX, it’s not completely wrong. But Blame evolution! What could we do?