You are alone!

Does it sound scary? Does it give you goosebumps? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? What did you imagine when I said you are alone?

Did you imagine yourself in a black room or a forest where you cannot seem to find yourself? It must have been scary to be in a place where there is no one to guide you. It might be worrying to be in a place where you can’t see anything, not even trace yourself. You wouldn’t have any idea on where to go. The idea itself is crazy and even the thought of it makes us cringe.

If not that scenario, Did you think of yourself in a blossomed forest on a sunny pleasant day? Did you imagine yourself in a position where you are free to go wherever you want? It must have felt soothing to be in a place like it where you have no obligations and no bounds. It must really be liberating and happy to be in a position like this.

If you imagined yourself in the former scenario, I feel you have got the concept of “being alone” wrong. And I am not blaming you for it at all. We as a society have failed to improvise the concept of loneliness in a wrong way. For us, loneliness means being in a stage where no one loves you and you are lost in an endless sea. The various Hollywood and Bollywood flicks have taught us that we need love and compassion to complete ourselves and they are not completely wrong either. However, they miss out on some intricate details too.

When we talk about loneliness, our mind immediately thinks about a position where we are physically alone, where there is no one around you and hence we can imagine being stuck in a dark room with no one to help us. And we can’t blame the brain either. We have been evolved to live in a society and to seek approval from others. This, in turn, creates a sense of fear of judgement and a doubt of being accepted in it forever makes a mark in our minds.

This fear, however, doesn’t make much sense now. With billions of people in a single country and lakhs of them having exactly the same mindset as you, it’s literally very hard to “die alone”. There would always be people around you to help you out or in the most basic sense, there would always be people around you to talk to.

This was not the loneliness I was talking about. I was talking about a different kind of being alone, I was talking about being alone mentally. I was talking about that stage where you exactly know what you are and where do you strive to go in life. Once you have known the importance of understanding your true self, you would know how beautiful it feels. The second scenario primary involves being in that stage where you are the light you need, you know where life is steering you and you exactly know where you stand. This makes the flowers blossom and the weather sunny for you.

Being alone can be such a liberating experience for anyone to be in since it doesn’t involve anyone else. You have all the dimensions to move in and you have the wings which you can spread anywhere. But having talked about that phase in life where we can embrace our true self, let’s talk about how to get there.

Stop expecting from others, You are alone in the path of life:

This is definitely the first step towards being confident and proud of where you stand. Most of the times, being overly optimistic towards our goals or our relations haunt us. You need to grasp the core understanding of your needs and your actions. Being realistic means you exactly know what you are about to receive. And the biggest hurdle to it comes when we start expecting. We know to understand every human is different and have their own specific needs which they need to cater. We all are mean in our own way and that is not a bad thing at all. You are mean and I am mean too. That doesn’t mean we can not survive in a society. Stop expecting people to act in your own directions and start making your own decisions. Make yourself your priority and start catering to your own needs, no one else can do it better.

If not happy, Change the story of your life, You are the only hero of your story:

Most often, We complain about being placed in difficult conditions and how it’s really hard to achieve something from there. Let me tell you one thing. Your life is a story book and you are its maker, you have the pen and you have the drawing book. If you don’t like the story, go ahead and change it. No one is stopping you from doing it other than your excuses. We tend to associate ourselves with so many people around us and often take our decisions trying to copy them. Don’t do that. You are the lead in your story, others just play a part. You are the hero who needs to save the world and you are alone in this. Don’t let it be about someone else, make your own mark.

Question yourself extensively and discover your true self:

This is where we all lack. We all have that virtual image of “ourselves” which we want to be. We have that fake personality developed inside you and we are scared, to tell the truth for it may hurt us, for it may hurt our ego and shatter the virtual reality where we have created. In order to take pride in being alone, you need to first accept yourself and that starts with acceptance. There are some ways to do it like playing truth and dare with yourself or the Why-Why Analysis which can help you solve even the toughest of problems. Make yourself in charge of your problems and your happiness.

You are alone in this journey of life and it’s time to embrace it. Don’t be scared. Discover your own path and let other play their part for you need to walk a thousand miles before you sleep.

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